well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
