do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
