I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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