hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
