If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
In America we eat man semen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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