you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize