Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
