Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
