We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dicks are not precious.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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