So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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