I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
