I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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