I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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