we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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