also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize