We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
