we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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