if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
