So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
MIDGETS
????
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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