Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
