About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you traded sex for a burrito?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
