This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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