idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
