this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's never too late to be topless.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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