I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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