ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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