please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and she was petting her beer can
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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