the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
