you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
