Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I smell stomach acid.
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Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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