Do you still have your period?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
