Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
