this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
