as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
