I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
