I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
