your room smells of hookers.
And success
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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