THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
