So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
