Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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