This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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