Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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