It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
