So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
