Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The power of my boobs compel you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
