I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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