Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How does it feel to date your dad?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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