The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
