the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
