Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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