Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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