3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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