I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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