So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
