Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
