those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
