Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
