he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
A bitchslap is in order.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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