it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
