This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
