i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
